My internet's been out the last week. No Barney, no Blair. No fandom, no fic. So I got Greek from Netflix and I fell in fucking love.

This show is so funny and cute and hot and fabulous. ( Thoughts on Season One )

I beta'd this fic this weekend and I think it's hysterically funny:

Fag Hags Are The Best (Because They Aren't Hags At All) By cinaed.

How I Met Your Mother. Perfect Barney. Seriously, a 10. Just like him. And I am picky about my fic!Barneys. A fic!Barney that just says stuff Barney already said on the show is not good enough for me. Hers is original, in character, and wicked funny. Go read it.

( Warm Tomato Salad )


( Chicken with Roasted Peaches and Red Onions )

( Pasta with Asparagus and Olives )

( Summer Salad I: Strawberries & Shallots )


and some style links...
Beth Ditto in couture
Sassy Nov '92, scanned
Simpsons at Fashion Week
Sidewalk Psychiatry

Title: Upward Mobility
Author: Lee Greene (redwinevinegar.livejournal.com & redwinevinegar@gmail.com)
Summary: Well-dressed midtown yuppie love. Karen/Robin. Office/HIMYM.
Warning: I don't own the Office or HIMYM. True story. Archive anywhere. Feedback is fantastic. Much thanks to cinaed for the beta!
***
( Upward Mobility )

Drabbles:
1. OC. Ryan/Taylor. Future. For chickpea.
2. GG. Blair/Dan. Friendship. For cashewdani.
3. HIMYM/Office. Barney teaches Jim how to live. For cinead.
4. VM/Bones. Crossover. For lodessa.
5. OC/GG. Chuck/Taylor. They both went to the Sorbonne. For chickpea.

This is how it works: Pouncer wrote me this awesome Blair Waldorf drabble, so I have to take 10 drabble requests on my journal. So give them to me. Pick a relationship, a story arc, a missing scene, or pretty much anything you want. I will do slash, het, friendship, crossovers, anything really for: Gossip Girl, OC, Office, How I Met Your Mother, Bones, Veronica Mars, Joan of Arcadia, Chuck. I'm half way there. Get me up to ten.

So, anyway, I work tomorrow so I'm focusing on finishing my Remix tonight. Let me just say, I really like & respect the story I'm doing. My remix is like a another plot happening in parallel with the original; it focuses on something else entirely in a way that gives a new perspective on the original story. I hope the writer's into it. I'm getting all nervous.

Let's get serious:

8:20p 684 words
8:42p 843 words
8:54p 921 words
9:11p 959 words
9:18p 993 words
9:23p 1020 words

Oh, thank the lord. Now I have to do a merciless edit & figure out how to post it. This dummy journal thing makes me feel like a moron.

My remix fic has a beginning, a point, an end, and 290 words I really like in between. 710 to go to hit that sweet 1K by April 12.

Writing under pressure has got my adrenaline going & I just want more, more, more. I'm betaing this totally awesome HIMYM fic I will link to when its done & this was a total impulse buy, but might be totally awesome: Pouncer's game:
The first ten people to comment may request a drabble from me (I’m a classicist: drabble = 100 words exactly). In return, they have to post this meme in their journal [if they are so inclined]. You can pick a relationship, a story arc, a missing scene, or pretty much anything you want. I

I will write for: Gossip Girl, OC, Office, How I Met Your Mother, Bones, Veronica Mars, Joan of Arcadia, Chuck. I am inclined towards UST, geekiness, bitterness, class issues, and crossovers but I will try anything. Slash, het, and friendship are all good.

Drabbles can be so fierce, just a sucker punch. So hit me up. Put me to work. Seriously, I don't care if we've never emailed or commented on each other's journals or whatever. I just want bunnies.

ETA: Tuesday, 8 April 8:45a Remix Redux wordcount: 334
ETA: Tuesday, 8 April 7:25p Remix Redux wordcount: 426
ETA: Thursday, 10 April 7:29a Remix Redux wordcount: 670

Drabbles:
1. OC. Ryan/Taylor. Future. For chickpea.
2. GG. Blair/Dan. Friendship. For cashewdani.
3. HIMYM/Office. Barney teaches Jim how to live. For cinead.
4. VM/Bones. Crossover. For lodessa
5. OC/GG. Chuck/Taylor. They both went to the Sorbonne. For chickpea.

In the words of Our Lady of the Flowers: gimme gimme more.

Title: English Racing Green
Author: Lee Greene (redwinevinegar@gmail.com & redwinevinegar.livejournal.com)
Subject: Ikea makes unrequited love unbearable. Chuck and Nate, all that bullshit. R.

( It wasn't like Nate was sleeping in Central Park. )

Just finished Top Chef 4x01. Not to... ethnically profile... but Mark has got the same 'tiny' mannerisms as Jermaine & Brit, I mean, Bret. It's not just the accents. So far he kind of looks like a hobbit & he acts mostly unpretentious, earnest and kinda cheeky...

TV BOYFRIEND!

TV BOYFRIEND IS ON TV!

And by "TV" I mean on my computer.

Anthony Bourdain on Top Chef 4x01, hurting people's feelings. Oh yeah, that hits the spot.

Fuck me, I forgot about my remix. I feel so out of my league; I feel like doing Another Character's POV is the easiest route & probably the most realistic in my case. I guess I have to put my Chuck Bass/Julie Cooper on hold. Le sigh.

( I'll bet anyone ten bucks that I can get Ted to grow a mustache. )

( Stuffed Peppers )

( Tamale Pie )

( Almond Cookies )

The Fandom Bracket & Fug Bracket: Barney Stinson and Phoebe Price, make it happen!

Also, I <3 this Three Things ____ Does When the World Is Ended By _____ thing. Sophia_Helix is the first person I've seen to post hers -- Richie Tenenbaum, Death, Dream, & Sayid, then Liz Lemon, Pam Beesley, & Seeley Booth. Creepy, morose, and/or hysterical. Perfect.

Cauliflower can be awesome. I tried this tonight, where you toss roasted cauliflower with a vinagrette after, rather than before, a good hour in the oven. Pretty excellent. I added some red wine vinegar (REPRESENT) and it was delicious.

Now that I'm fed, all I want is smart, vicious Gossip Girl fic.

Pirateygoodness: I adore everything she has on her livejournal, which is (thankfully) tagged so I'm not linking them one by one. They are so fierce. Smarter than the show, and if possible, more fabulous. I feel like she really captures the inner life of the relationships they cobble together amongst themselves... Goosebumps...

Monimala: This nasty, nasty Chuck bit is my favorite GG fic so far, Lessons in Humility, which is not to say the rest aren't sharp, spot-on, completely enjoyable. Chuck & Blair: Home for the Holidays. Chuck & Nate:
Thin Lines & Straight to the Next Guy. Blair/Serena: Not Quite Wild & Join the Club.

Angel Grace: Six Truly Offensive Pickup Lines made me cackle. It's a crossover with Chuck & Veronica Mars -- the banter is grand, pretty goddamn sexy, and really, our girl deserves a little fun.

Somewhere along the way, somebody -- somebody brilliant, I don't remember who -- commented that there should be a Gossip Girl/Secret History crossover. Dear god, I'd kill for that. One of my all-time favorite novels -- maybe not the best book ever written, but one of the most engrossing. And maybe why I was almost a Classics major. I remember daydreaming about Charles and Camilla and Henry and Julian and Francis, it never occurred to me to fic them...

Gossip Girls casting spoilers that make me so happy, both because she's a fox & I want crossovers. Retroactive crossovers!

Student art show at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts was stunning. It's free on Cherry & Broad -- we went to see Virgil Marti but were too hungover to figure out where it was (it's next door). The printmaking, charcoal & mixed media were especially good -- I kept glancing over and being utterly arrested by some piece across the room....

( Chicken Normande with Apples & Cream )

( Nigella's Breakfast Bars )

( Spaghetti with Fried Eggs )

Every four years since 1992, Family Circle Magazine has sponsored a "cookie cook-off" between the two First Lady nominees. I am fascinated by Bill Clinton's Oatmeal Cookies & Hilary Clinton's Chocochip Cookies Dark rum? Shortening? So you're southern, that's what you're saying?

I am feeling inspired to keep my parm rinds and cook like crazy. ( Breakfast! Dinner! Meatcore! Vegan! Everything! )

What I have made is this crazy Martha Stewart's Pear Tart last weekend. ( Holy christ lord. This really knocked it out of the park. )

Sharks at GAPKids! Once again, their adult clothes blow but their kids clothes blow my mind. Shorts embroidered with sharks! Shark hoodie! Eeee! Sharks on everything!

( Please forgive me for a) renting Flavor of Love Season One from Netflix, b) watching it, and c) having thoughts about it. I don't understand either. )

I have a new love.

Gossip Girl.

Initially disliked the KBell voiceover and the cliche-a-thon but I went back to them in Writer's Strike desperation and by episode six -- the masquerade-- these characters coalesced into pure win. I will write more later, but all I can say how is I really hope there's fic out there because I am dying for more Chuck & Blair. JUST DYING.

I found Simon Pegg's cartoon I Am Not An Animal on Bittorrent & Esquire's Encyclopedia of Sandwiches on their website, so I don't have to steal it from the gym.

This is my muse. This is a story I've been wanting to write for a long time: a real look at how powerful quiet, unspoken kindness can be for someone who's pretty damaged. Luke Girardi's one of my all-time favorite TV characters -- he's this nerdy, happy & self-possessed kid who persists with his crush on this contentious, wounded punky girl and they develop this incredibly grown-up & loving & functional & awesome relationship. It's a different kind of strength than kicking down doors & blowing shit up. I thought Mac could use a little of it after Season 2. Hence a look at the quiet non-romantic relationship between two minor characters from cancelled shows.


Title: Let Us Now Praise Gentle Men
Author: Lee Greene (redwinevinegar@gmail.com)
Fandom: Joan of Arcadia/Veronica Mars
Summary: Minor character simpatico. Get Mac to be the RA at one of those whiz kid summer programs, and you know Luke's going to be drawn to her. Platonic & understated & totally nostalgic for camp. My answer to Challenge Six of the Picfor1000 challenge.

( Run with the bulls. )

If Martha Stewart said jump off a bridge, I'd follow her exact instructions how.

Cherry Tomato Tart

Looks good, feels good. The pate brisee was way easier than it sounds and the rice-mustard had a really nice texture sandwiched between the crust & tomatoes. Delicious. It took me about an hour & a half, but I had the tv on -- Netflix has Flavor of Love Season 1 and it blows my mind.

I am all about Goldie. She's puked on the first day! Her eyes get so big when she's laughing at the other women! She taunted the Asian chick to give her a "manicuuuuur and pedicuuuur" (and VHI titled the video "Goldie: Future UN Ambassador). Can you write shit like this purpose? I mean, I just keep thinking "Is this really happening?" and dear god, it is.

Hottie: "You guys are just jealous because all my friends tell me I remind them Beyonce!"
New York: "YOU LOOK MORE LIKE LUTHOR VANDROSS"

New York's so money and she really does look like Janice the Muppet. I love how Hottie doesn't realize she needs to be discreet about Flav's $$$, but at the same time, she can sodomize a raw chicken with the dildoiest cucumber I've ever seen, serve it to Flav's mom, and get away with it because of her big oozing tits. Eeeeeech.

I am so excited about Remix Redux -- on the edge of my seat to get my pairing.

I just barely qualified -- ages ago, I wrote six full Buffy fics. I think I was in high school when I wrote some of these, & I was experimenting with some writing styles that make me cringe now. Jesus, I can't say I had the nerve to thoroughly reread them -- I just checked the wordcount & said a prayer. Remixing someone else's work seemed worth the humiliation of having these stories closely examined, but it just occurred to me how awesome it is to have someone who can write better than you take a story you're unsatisfied with and pull out everything awesome and make something new. This is going to be so cool.

So who ever gets me -- go to town on it, take no prisoners. I can't wait to see what you do.

New job. Stomach flu. Psuedo breakup. ( Back, with lots of opinions on inane things. )